It was a struggle getting up this morning and coming to work. The only thing that motivated me to get out of bed was knowing that in less than two weeks I will be starting a new job in a different department. I woke up feeling completely zapped of energy, like I hadn’t slept at all, and the gray clouds outside made me feel even less motivated to get on with the day.

I made the mistake of looking at the summer schedule of classes when I got to work and spending entirely too much time worrying that there will be no seats left when I can register in two weeks.

I’m not really sure what brought on this sudden state of melancholy.

I should be proud of myself for getting this new job and feel excited to meet new people and learn new things. But I have anxiety over whether or not I’ll be able to handle the challenges of this new job. I should be happy that I’ve completed two more classes, and that I’ll most likely receive an A in both for all of the hard work and studying I’ve put in. Finishing those classes with good grades are making my goal of transferring to another school that much closer. Several years ago, my heart wasn’t in it at all, and I know progress, even is small increments, is still progress. I just don’t feel any of the things I should.

My friends and family have all said how proud and happy they are for me. I’m going to try really hard to acknowledge what I have accomplished and feel the same way.